The tick tock aroused my mind
am I okay or not I wonder
my thoughts loud and harsh.
am I okay or not I wonder
my thoughts loud and harsh.
Let yesterday go
just forget tomorrow
concentrate on the present.
I found a box and put my head inside it.
Some say your mind plays tricks,
my mind is full of tricks and treats
which need sorting out, choosing
what gets to stay and what is discarded.
Listening to well meaning folk
does not help for well-meaning
touches the bits that excruciatingly
torment and hurt the old scarring.
I found a box and put my head inside it.
Arms and legs, torso and all other bits
appear normal and acceptable
covered by convention which applauds
itself daily, hourly, minute by minute.
Tick tock tick tock, it's the long way round
the mountain again, and again, and again.
I found a box and put my head inside it...
For today's MTB poetry prompt from Laura at dverse poets, we are writing Bop Poetry created by Aafa Michael Weaver.
Poetry Style: a 23 line poem which has 3 stanzas ordered thus, with a 1 line refrain after each:-
- a six-line stanza - that poses a problem
- an eight-line stanza - that expands upon that problem
- a six-line stanza - that solves, or fails to solve, the problem
Include this 1 line refrain after each stanza:
‘I found a box and put a room inside’
OR ‘I found a box…[add your own words to complete the line]
Here is the link: BOP poetry
The second stanza, especially the latter half, really resonated with me, Carol. Navigating a world of artifice and convention poses a real tension with the realities the mind wrestles with. A wonderfully written bop, Carol.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Dora. I very nearly didn't attempt this poetry form as I thought it was too complicated for me. But once I understood the requirements, I thought it an interesting challenge.
Delete"my mind is full of tricks and treats" - brilliant line and it sums up the helter-skelter narrative in your Bop poem and still the problem remains unsolved, past your last stanza
ReplyDeleteThanks, Laura! I enjoyed the challenge after procrastinating whether to attempt it, or not. Hehe.
DeleteThis is a great interpretation of the prompt. Roberta
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Roberta! :D
DeleteI identify with your Bop poem, Carol. My mind has a mind of its own and sometimes I wonder if other people can hear it too! These lines stood out for me:
ReplyDelete‘my mind is full of tricks and treats
which need sorting out, choosing
what gets to stay and what is discarded’.
Now to find a box…
Nice to know I have a kindred spirit out there, Kim! I've been a bit too serious with my writing of late so perhaps a rollicking limerick is needed! ;D
DeleteLet yesterday go
ReplyDeletejust forget tomorrow
concentrate on the present.
…great recipe for sanity Carol… but not easy to do. ✌🏼🫶🏼
I agree Rob, it's not easy to do. Sometimes we need to do it time and time again. Thanks for your comments! :D
Delete"well-meaning
ReplyDeletetouches the bits that excruciatingly
torment and hurt the old scarring"
Carol, you've got me intrigued with this part. I won't guess on elaboration but if you would like to say more, I would love to hear it.
To clarify: 'well-meaning' can be, but not always, folk who try their best to help but come across as a bit patronizing as they 'tut tut'. It reminds me of the quote 'the road to hell is paved with good intentions.' People mean well but often have no empathy or understanding of a particular situation which can just amplify their intended target's stress. I find, for me, that the best well-meant actions are: a hug [without words], a listening ear [without words], an act of kindness [with anonymity], no advice given [unless requested], and unconditional love. We cannot always 'fix' someone, but we can listen as they navigate their particular difficult road.
DeleteI think as humans we often like to place things into boxes. Helps to keep track of stuff. :D
ReplyDeleteSometimes we need to be like ostriches or this world becomes too much. I enjoyed this, Carol.
ReplyDeleteGlad you enjoyed it, Punam! :D
DeleteGreat use of this form, Carol. I love your refrain.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! :D
Delete“my mind is full of tricks and treats
ReplyDeletewhich need sorting out, choosing
what gets to stay and what is discarded.”
I so relate to this!
Hehe, nice to know one's not alone. ;D
Delete